Meditation FAQ
The problem is most people get told that meditation will do “x” and are never told how. It’s often framed like meditation will work by osmosis; if you meditate three times a week for 15 minutes then you’ll just come to feel less stressed over time.
Why is it that meditation often sounds much better in theory than in practice? Some people try meditating to clear their mind, but find that sitting in silence only fills their mind with even more thoughts.
The problem is most people get told that meditation will do “x” and are never told how. It’s often framed like meditation will work by osmosis; if you meditate three times a week for 15 minutes then you’ll just come to feel less stressed over time.
For some people it is just that simple. But for many it’s not, meditating can range from boring to aggravating to anxiety-provoking — all the while wondering what exactly you’re supposed to be doing and why is it so important to focus on your breath?
I’ve compiled a list of common experiences and misconceptions people have as they begin to meditate. My experiences have taught me that the people who most enjoy meditation are the ones who know what they’re doing and know they’re doing it well. The people who least enjoy it are the ones who feel confused about what’s required of them and never know if they are meeting the mark.
Back up, what even is meditation?
Meditation is focusing your awareness on one specific stimulus. Most commonly that is the breath, such as counting each in-breath and out-breath, but not always. For example, prayer is often considered a form of meditation, and many other activities can be meditative even if that isn’t their explicit purpose.
Got it, so how exactly does that help?
The way I think of it, meditation helps on two levels. On one level, it’s therapeutic just to schedule time in your day for relaxation and there’s ample research to support the notion that deep breathing is effective in relieving stress.
On a deeper level, meditation is effective because it is helping you develop the skill of re-focusing. This skill is becoming essential these days, as distractions are everywhere and the content we consume is engineered to be addicting to keep our attention. Re-focusing is learning how to take a step back, evaluate the situation, and then choose where to focus your attention. Learning to do so repeatedly and making it a habit is an invaluable tool in combating procrastination, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and stress.
You’re saying that learning how to re-focus my attention is that important?
Yes. This is a fundamental skill that is at the core of any important change you may undertake. If you want to learn to stop procrastinating, you have to learn how to re-focus your attention. If you want to learn how to be more open and communicative in relationships, you have to learn how to identify that you’re closing off and then re-focus your attention on opening up. If you want to learn to better manage your anxiety, you have to learn to accept the anxious feelings and re-focus your attention back on the task at hand. You get the picture… re-focusing is essential.
How exactly am I teaching myself to re-focus through meditation?
Like I mentioned, people often misunderstand the goal of meditation. It’s not to have an empty mind with no thoughts — that can be a nice byproduct of meditation, but it’s not the goal. The goal is to use the thoughts and emotions that come up to learn the skill of re-focusing. A thought comes up and the goal is to accept the thought, let it go, and come back to your breath. By doing this over and over again you are retraining your mind to break out of entrenched patterns of thought and to come back to the present moment.